Everyone knows robots with laser blasters will someday destroy and enslave humanity, but until now few realized they would take the form of slithery mechanical reptiles.

Behold, the snakebot, a creation of Carnegie Mellon’s biorobotics lab. The robotic terror can slither around, wrap around poles and trees and climb straight up and smohter you before you can radio a distress message to John Conner or Neo.

Watch this thing climb a tree and tell us how much you would pay to either buy one of these or an electronic mongoose to protect you from it.

Creepy Snake Bot Climbs Trees, We Stop Sleeping [Switched via BoingBoing]

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Maybe someday you’ll slam your foot on the gas pedal to see how fast that Ford Ranger can really go and you’ll catch the sirens in your rear-view mirror, only to wave off the patrol car and resume going way too fast just for the fun of it.

That’s the dream of a candidate running for the Nevada governor’s office, the Associated Press reports. Under his proposal, you’d submit your vehicle to an inspection, pay a fee, bring along a transponder that declares your right to floor it for a 24-hour period.

The AP says the Nevada Highway Patrol does not approve of this message, warning it would cause more accidents and deaths.

Would you vote for someone who promised to get this done?

Nevada candidate touts speedy fix to budget crisis [AP via Slashdot]

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Hey, remember when Google signed everyone up for Buzz without asking and revealed their private contact lists? The company has now settled a class action lawsuit brought by seven Gmail users. The BBC says that 30% will go to the legal team, while each of those seven users will get $2,500. The rest will not be turned into Google stickers or free AdSense ads for you, but instead will be “shared among organisations that promote online privacy.”

The groups haven’t been named, but somehow I suspect Consumer Watchdog will not be among those lucky organizations.

“Google to pay $8.5m to settle Buzz lawsuit” [BBC]
“Google settles Buzz lawsuit for $8.5M” [CNET]

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Don’t reward your dog a Hartz Naturals Real Beef Treat from a bag stamped with lot code BZ0969101E, says the FDA, unless you want a potentially confused dog. Hartz says salmonella has been found in at least one bag from that lot, so it’s recalling nearly 75,000 bags. So far no one has reported any sick pets, but if you have questions you can call Hartz at 1-800-275-1414.

The product shipped in 8-oz bags and had the UPC 32700-11519.

“The Hartz Mountain Corporation Recalls Hartz Naturals Real Beef Treats Because of Possible Salmonella Health Risk” [FDA]

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Feuds between homeowners and homeowners’ associations can get pretty intense, as BoingBoing pointed out twice last week. One feud in Ogden, NC, was so bad that the man’s house was sold by the court to pay for dues and fines levied by the association. The house was sold earlier this summer, reports the Star-News, and last month the man doused everything in gas and set the place on fire.

The cause of all the trouble? A fence and planters:

[The victim] violated the covenants of the homeowners’ association by building a white picket fence, shed and “round, black objects in the front yard” without approval from the Architectural Review Committee, according to the complaint. On Sunday, the “round, black objects” were dug into the front yard and held plants.

“Fatal fire at Ogden home was set intentionally, investigators say” [StarNewsOnline] (Thanks to Liz!)
“Body found after Ogden house fire was the former owner” [StarNewsOnline]

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Kings — especially ones with creepy face masks — are there to serve their subjects, so Burger King responded to complaints from critics by switching its source for palm oil in which to cook its delicacies. Led by Greenpeace, environmentalists had harangued the company from buying from a subsidiary of Sinar Mas, Indonesian outfit accused of deforestation.

Burger King announced the change late last week on its Facebook page. Nestle also abandoned the subsidiary within the past year, GreenBiz reports.

Sorry, Whopper fans. You’ll no longer get the sweet taste of forest destruction with your meal.

Sinar Mas Decision [Burger King Facebook page via GreenBiz]

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The group Consumer Watchdog is pushing hard for Congress to establish a “do not track” list for online consumers, which I’m all for. I’m not sure whether releasing a ridiculously unpleasant cartoon in Times Square is the right strategy, though–especially when you use the very service you’re warning people about.

For one thing, Eric Schmidt looks like he might be the Joker, and without audio–the way you’d watch it in Times Square, in other words–you can’t really tell what he’s doing. (Is the ice cream poisonous? Is he a government agent?) Another problem, if you actually listen to the audio, is that the video shows Schmidt luring kids to an ice cream truck and then telling them about their parents’ sexual behaviors, which I don’t think is one of Google’s free services yet.

But the worst is that Consumer Watchdog uses Google Analytics to track users on its own website, notes the San Francisco Chronicle, which is the service the cartoon explicitly calls out with an on-screen graphic (see 1:02 in the video below). Worse, it doesn’t warn people about this as soon as they visit the site the way, for example, All Things D does. (If you’ve visited All Things D before and don’t see the yellow box, you can read the same text here.)

In the world of online tracking, Google Analytics is actually fairly innocuous; to my knowledge it stays focused on incoming traffic and the user’s browsing behavior within the site, not all over the web. Still, if you’re going to make Google’s CEO look like a child-endangering perv to thousands of Times Square tourists every day, it seems to me you should stop making use of the company’s sophisticated user-tracking services.

“BUSTED: Anti-Google Privacy Group Consumer Watchdog Is Tracking Your Clicks With Google Analytics” [San Francisco Chronicle]
“Consumer Watchdog Group Goes After Google” [New York Times]

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Quantcast reports that while iPhones still own the mobile web market, Android devices are quickly making up ground. A year ago the iPhone’s iOS platform owned nearly 70 percent of the market while Android hovered below 10 percent. Last month iOS slumped to 56 percent while Android clawed its way up to 25 percent.

If this trend keeps up, Android will own close to 100 percent of the market by the time the decade is half over, while iOS usage will drop into the negative percentages.

Ridiculous extrapolations aside, when and if do you think Google’s smartphone bloodhound will catch Apple, and what does Apple need to do to maintain its domination?

August 2010 Mobile OS Share [Quantcast via IntoMobile]

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Strip clubs and cockpits don’t mix, at least not when there’s a spinning search light involved, says the FAA. The agency has asked Bombshells, a club near Love Field Airport in Dallas, TX, to keep its newly installed rooftop light turned off after the pilot for a Southwest flight reported his cockpit was flooded with light while trying to land the plane. The pilot feared that it was a laser strike, which can cause temporary blindness.

The club’s manager says he was promised the light was installed at an angle that wouldn’t interfere with planes.

I have been trying for half an hour to come up with a good joke about strip clubs, cockpits, and temporary blindness. I turn these terms over to you.

“Strip Club Spot Light Endangers Flight”

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Clothing

Computers and Electronics
• Tanga.com: [Camera] HP Photosmart 8MP, 48X Zoom, 2.5″ LCD Digital Camera For $54.99
• HP: [Laptops] $200 extra off Pavilion laptops configured to $1,249+ w/ Coupon NBB168471
• Amazon: [Camera] Nikon Coolpix S8000 14.2 MP $219.95 + free ship (next best $247)
• Logitech.com: [Computers and Electronics] Logitech G9x Laser Mouse (Dented Box) for $49
• HP.com: [Computers and Electronics] HP Wireless Deluxe Laptop Keyboard & Mouse Set for $25 with Free Shipping
• Newegg: [FM Transmitter] Philips Microsoft Zune FM Transmitter for $2.99 w/ Free Shipping
• Sony Style: [Blu-Ray Player] Sony Blu-Ray Player (Refurbished) for $59.99 w/ Free Shipping

Entertainment

• Ebay deals: [SNL Movies] Wayne’s World + Coneheads + Stuart Saves His Family (DVD) $5 + free ship
• Amazon: [Blu-ray] Batman The Dark Knight $8.99
• GameStop: [Entertainment] Demon’s Souls (PS3) $25 Shipped
• DiscountMags: [Entertainment] Us Weekly Magazine: 2 years $40, 3 years $60
• Borders: [Books] 33% Off One List Price Item w/ Coupon BGE8213X
• Game Stop: [Games] 15% Off New PS3 & Xbox 360 Games w/ Coupon NEXT15 + One More Coupon

Health and Beauty

• Beauty.com: [Skin Care] $10 off $60 purchase including philosphy, bliss, stila, and more.
• Amazon.com: [Health and Beauty] 3-pk of Oral B Floss Action Brushheads for $12 with Free Shipping

Home

• BedBathBeyond: [Home] Flame 34″ x 64″ Beach Towel for $5 with Free Shipping
• Advance Auto Parts: [Automotive] $16 Off $40 or $24 Off $60 or $32 Off $80 or $40 Off $100 w/ Coupon LC123
• Amazon: [Flashlight] Giant Lego Man Flashlight for $9.95 + Shipping

Morning Deals are purely an informational service for the readers. Consumerist receives nothing in exchange for their posting.

If you have a tip for Morning Deals, send it to tips@consumerist.com, and be sure to put “morning deals” in the subject line.

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