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This is pretty much the perfect reply to an annoying telemarketer, and the perfect complaint letter to send when he cusses you out.

The provenance and veracity of this letter is unknown, but what is not unknown is that is funny.

Grandfather and Telemarketers [I own images]

Barring the complete outlawing of fizzy drinks, the Coke vs. Pepsi fight will continue to be the main event in pop pugilism. But what about the albino step-siblings of these cola titans — the lemon-lime drinks? These lesser libations — Sprite, Sierra Mist, 7Up — have seen their ad budgets butchered and their sales sink in recent years. But none of them are willing to go down for the count without at least one last left hook.

In an effort to differentiate itself from the other beverages in the category, PepsiCo’s Sierra Mist has decided to tap into the growing market for real sugar sodas by phasing out its existing formula, which uses High Fructose Corn Syrup, in favor of the real sugar recipe of Sierra Mist Natural.

Says the VP of natural and flavored sodas at PepsiCo:

There’s not a strong reason to choose one [lemon-lime] brand over another…. And when we asked consumers what would re-engage them in soda, ‘natural’ was the No. 1 concept.

Meanwhile, AdAge reports that 7Up is reformulating its recipe and reworking its graphics in hopes of staying competitive in a category dominated by Sprite. In addition to the formulation redo, 7Up says they plan on spending the equivalent of a whole year’s ad budget on in just the last four months of 2010.

So, would the fact that Sierra Mist will soon be HFCS free make it any more appealing to you?

Lemon-Lime Gets Boost After Years of Neglect [AdAge.com]

This is pretty much the perfect reply to an annoying telemarketer, and the perfect complaint letter to send when he cusses you out.

The provenance and veracity of this letter is unknown, but what is not unknown is that is funny.

Grandfather and Telemarketers [I own images]

Barring the complete outlawing of fizzy drinks, the Coke vs. Pepsi fight will continue to be the main event in pop pugilism. But what about the albino step-siblings of these cola titans — the lemon-lime drinks? These lesser libations — Sprite, Sierra Mist, 7Up — have seen their ad budgets butchered and their sales sink in recent years. But none of them are willing to go down for the count without at least one last left hook.

In an effort to differentiate itself from the other beverages in the category, PepsiCo’s Sierra Mist has decided to tap into the growing market for real sugar sodas by phasing out its existing formula, which uses High Fructose Corn Syrup, in favor of the real sugar recipe of Sierra Mist Natural.

Says the VP of natural and flavored sodas at PepsiCo:

There’s not a strong reason to choose one [lemon-lime] brand over another…. And when we asked consumers what would re-engage them in soda, ‘natural’ was the No. 1 concept.

Meanwhile, AdAge reports that 7Up is reformulating its recipe and reworking its graphics in hopes of staying competitive in a category dominated by Sprite. In addition to the formulation redo, 7Up says they plan on spending the equivalent of a whole year’s ad budget on in just the last four months of 2010.

So, would the fact that Sierra Mist will soon be HFCS free make it any more appealing to you?

Lemon-Lime Gets Boost After Years of Neglect [AdAge.com]

The Hidden Menu blog went on a field excursion to see if they could track down the “Mc10:35″ - an Egg McMuffin inside a double cheeseburger you can only order at the changeover between breakfast and lunch. They lived to tell the tale and returned with photographic evidence.

The writers had to make two trips to lock down the food beast. The first time they got there too late, all the Egg McMuffins had been disposed of. However, the cashier knew exactly what a Mc10:35 was and had offered to make it for them! The legend spreads! The second time the cashier pleaded ignorance, but they got the two sandwiches and put them together themselves.

Hidden Menu writes:

“Wow, it’s curing a hangover I haven’t gotten yet,” exclaimed one taster. While the Mc10:35 is unequivocally delicious, the havoc it wrecks on your digestive track is truly harrowing. (We’ll spare the details.)

Nooo, the details are the best part!

THE MCDONALD’S MC10:35 [Hidden Menu]

PREVIOUSLY: Check Out The Secret McMenu Item That’s Sweeping SF, The Mc10:35

The Hidden Menu blog went on a field excursion to see if they could track down the “Mc10:35″ - an Egg McMuffin inside a double cheeseburger you can only order at the changeover between breakfast and lunch. They lived to tell the tale and returned with photographic evidence.

The writers had to make two trips to lock down the food beast. The first time they got there too late, all the Egg McMuffins had been disposed of. However, the cashier knew exactly what a Mc10:35 was and had offered to make it for them! The legend spreads! The second time the cashier pleaded ignorance, but they got the two sandwiches and put them together themselves.

Hidden Menu writes:

“Wow, it’s curing a hangover I haven’t gotten yet,” exclaimed one taster. While the Mc10:35 is unequivocally delicious, the havoc it wrecks on your digestive track is truly harrowing. (We’ll spare the details.)

Nooo, the details are the best part!

THE MCDONALD’S MC10:35 [Hidden Menu]

PREVIOUSLY: Check Out The Secret McMenu Item That’s Sweeping SF, The Mc10:35

Even though other municipalities have tried — and failed — to enact laws regulating the bagginess and sagginess of their citizens’ trousers, the mayor of Dublin, GA, is moving forward with his plan to sign an ordinance that would fine violators up to $200 for low-riding pants.

Because saggy pants are apparently the root of all evil, the town is amending its existing indecent exposure laws to include pants and skirts that sit “more than three inches below the top of the hips exposing the skin or undergarments.”

They mayor says he’s just giving the people, whose priorities are most certainly not out of whack, what they want:

We’ve gotten several complaints from citizens saying the folks with britches down below their buttocks was offensive, and wasn’t there something we could do about it…

It’s time we all have a mutual respect for each other… what a person does in the privacy of their home is fine… But if I had an 8-year-old daughter, I don’t think she needs to be subjected to looking at someone’s rear end.

In response to those who say the law effectively targets young, black males, Mr. Mayor says, “It’s for white, black, man, woman. The ordinance is for everyone, and I’ve seen it violated by all races and sexes.”

Once again, here’s the battle cry for anti-saggy-pants crusaders around the globe:

Georgia mayor to sign baggy pants ban [CNN]

Thanks to Womynist for the tip!

Even though other municipalities have tried — and failed — to enact laws regulating the bagginess and sagginess of their citizens’ trousers, the mayor of Dublin, GA, is moving forward with his plan to sign an ordinance that would fine violators up to $200 for low-riding pants.

Because saggy pants are apparently the root of all evil, the town is amending its existing indecent exposure laws to include pants and skirts that sit “more than three inches below the top of the hips exposing the skin or undergarments.”

They mayor says he’s just giving the people, whose priorities are most certainly not out of whack, what they want:

We’ve gotten several complaints from citizens saying the folks with britches down below their buttocks was offensive, and wasn’t there something we could do about it…

It’s time we all have a mutual respect for each other… what a person does in the privacy of their home is fine… But if I had an 8-year-old daughter, I don’t think she needs to be subjected to looking at someone’s rear end.

In response to those who say the law effectively targets young, black males, Mr. Mayor says, “It’s for white, black, man, woman. The ordinance is for everyone, and I’ve seen it violated by all races and sexes.”

Once again, here’s the battle cry for anti-saggy-pants crusaders around the globe:

Georgia mayor to sign baggy pants ban [CNN]

Thanks to Womynist for the tip!

A cell phone provider’s early termination fees isn’t a polite suggestion — it’s a contractual payment you’ve agreed to give to the company for failing to stick with its unsatisfying service. Whether or not the agreements are ethically valid, you’ll have to pay them or face collections and a likely scar on your credit report.

Take M’s story as evidence to the fact:

A few years ago, Sprint wouldn’t replace a phone that was damaged even though I’d purchased insurance.

As a result, I switched carriers and didn’t pay the early termination fee. I figured that it was Sprint who was causing the cancellation of the contract by not honoring the insurance.

They sold the debt to a collection agency and now the collection agency has listed it on my credit report. I had a lawyer write a letter to the collection agency but that went nowhere. I challenged the charge on my credit report but that didn’t remove it either.

A court in California ruled that Sprint illegally charged early termination fees and Sprint entered into a nationwide settlement to preclude additional litigation, however that didn’t help people like me whose accounts were turned over to collection agencies. It is not Sprint who is reporting to the credit agencies, but the collection company that bought the debt.

What, if anything can I do (besides pay the early termination fee)?

What have you told a cell phone provider to get it to let you out of an early termination fee?

A cell phone provider’s early termination fees isn’t a polite suggestion — it’s a contractual payment you’ve agreed to give to the company for failing to stick with its unsatisfying service. Whether or not the agreements are ethically valid, you’ll have to pay them or face collections and a likely scar on your credit report.

Take M’s story as evidence to the fact:

A few years ago, Sprint wouldn’t replace a phone that was damaged even though I’d purchased insurance.

As a result, I switched carriers and didn’t pay the early termination fee. I figured that it was Sprint who was causing the cancellation of the contract by not honoring the insurance.

They sold the debt to a collection agency and now the collection agency has listed it on my credit report. I had a lawyer write a letter to the collection agency but that went nowhere. I challenged the charge on my credit report but that didn’t remove it either.

A court in California ruled that Sprint illegally charged early termination fees and Sprint entered into a nationwide settlement to preclude additional litigation, however that didn’t help people like me whose accounts were turned over to collection agencies. It is not Sprint who is reporting to the credit agencies, but the collection company that bought the debt.

What, if anything can I do (besides pay the early termination fee)?

What have you told a cell phone provider to get it to let you out of an early termination fee?